Stuff For My Memoir

I know I promised to be nicer in 2012. But.

I can’t believe some of the free stuff I have read on my Kindle.  I searched for free books and downloaded some classics that are out of copyright—you know, the books I was assigned to read in school but likely only read the Cliff Notes. I am reading Emma now. 

But, I also found some free self-published novels.  I know more and more writers are going that route.  I get it.  But, the few I’ve read were so awful. One was so poorly written I think the author just really wanted to see her work in print.  Yikes. Reading it was like an exercise in how NOT to write. 

I would love recommendations for well-written self-published e-books.  I know there are some out there…  And, I am keeping my fingers crossed that if ever my ego and vanity grow bigger than my writing abilities, someone who loves me will kindly but firmly tell me so.

Reblog if you love to write.

Whether it be fanfiction, original stories, drabbles, songs, poems, books, or anything that has to do with creative words, then reblog. Let’s gather all the writers of Tumblr together.

(Source: insaneandproudofit, via maniacalmind)

2012 To-Dos How to not be an asshole, be a better parent, partner and maniac in the sack in 2012

Happy New Year!

1. Seven Ways to be a Bad-Ass; Getting Off Your (my) Fat-Ass in 2012 
2. A Comprehensive Self-Improvement Guide: How to not be an asshole, be a better parent, partner and maniac in the sack  in 2012. 
3. Finishing-My-Novel List. http://www.tumblr.com/blog/yesiamawriter 

   Okay, in the interest of time, I am combining the first two lists into one uber agenda:Seven Ways to be a Bad-Ass In the Gym and at Home and In Life

1. No elevators.  Can you go a whole year without an elevator? I work on the fourth floor so this could could be an easy way to burn calories. The only way I will take an elevator in 2012 is if I am with my kids.  I could make them do stairs too if it is 3 flights or less…the whining could kill me otherwise.  Okay, for sure, if I am by myself and there is no life-threatening emergency, I will skip the lift and take the stairs. This will be fun because I live to sing in enclosed stairwells—good acoustics and (usually) no audience.
2. No Fast Food.  Not even salads.  The McDonald’s salads suck anyway and are too expensive.  Who’s with me? And, no crap from the work convenience store.  If I am going to eat out this year, I want someone to bring it to me on a plate.   
3. More Sex. I suppose could have called this one More Date Nights with Partner/Spouse/Significant Other but it is more basic than that.  Yes, I do want more quality time with my husband and yes I would like to go on more dates with him.  But, like we learned early on in our relationship (yeah, you read that right, I was easy) we are good together between the sheets and I would like to make myself more available in that regard. Sex is good for you.  I’ll bet a million dollars all the celebrity (I don’t know any regular folks who got divorced this year) couples that split-up this year either were duds in the dark together in the first place or forgot to stoke the homefires in the bedroom after years of marriage.  Have you ever heard anyone say, “I don’t know what happened—we had amazing and frequent sex right up until the very day he/she filed for divorce,” ? No, you haven’t because it doesn’t happen.  Maybe J-Lo could have learned to put up with Mark if he had provided her with with more oral. (Sorry, I tried a lot of different euphemisms there but then decided to be direct.)  So, I will get more sleep, eat right and exersize so I’ll have more energy for one of the best perks of a marriage: getting in to bed every night with a sure thing. ;)
4. More Patience. With myself, my kids and my husband. And strangers.  Especially the a-holes I encounter on the way from work to my kid’s school at pick-up time. Why do they drive so slow when I am in a hurry? Can a person go without yelling in anger/rage/frustration at anyone for a year?  This is going to be hard (unless someone has a surefire way to get everyone on my same agenda) but I will try to not yell in 2012.
5. Make a Realistic Workout Schedule. In 2012 I am going to plan my workout schedule on a week-to-week basis.  My gym-time varies depending on a lot of different factors: my kids’ activities, days off from school and the resulting changes to my work schedule, etc.  So, instead of assigning myself a regimen that reflects my reality in a very limited way,  I will look at my week on Sunday and plan accordingly.This seems pretty obvious but in 2011 I spent a lot of time beating myself up over poor planning. 
6. Be In the Moment. Particularly in the Gym. Lately I have struggled with letting go of all the other stuff going on in my life while I am on the treadmill. When my sole big focus was getting fit,  I easily maintained my concentration.  I ran faster longer.  Now that I have added some other BIG GOALS, I have to be really careful about what my brain is doing while the rest of me is supposed to be working out.  If a surgeon is supposed to be doing a bowel resection, I would certainly hope he is not also playing the rerun of this morning’s argument with his boyfriend in his head. (Yes, my imaginary surgeon is gay.)  I need to stay focused on whatever I am doing as I am going it.  Stress relief associated with exercise comes from doing the workout, not from doing the workout while thinking about a bunch of other stuff you could be/should be/rather be doing.  If I de-stress in the gym there will be more opportunities to enjoy moments with my family and friends.  So, when I am at the gym I will focus on the task at hand: turning my body into a lean, mean (see number 3) sex machine.
7. Be Nice.  I think I am a nice person.  I think most people are pretty nice.  But, sometimes I’m just not.  Nobody is perfect but, what if we all made it a point to be nice more?  In 2012, I am going to be a kinder, gentler version of me.  I will smile more, apologize when I should and forgive when I don’t want to.  I will gossip less, refrain from talking smack and stop putting people down—even the a-holes who make me late to pick up my kids from school.

Okay, people.  I think this is a very doable to-do list.  As New Years Resolutions go, I think these are top-notch. Let’s all get out there and be fit, nice and sexy.  2012 is going to be KICK-ASS!!!!

Dad’s Bday dinner menu:

Pork Tenderloin, Sauteed Spinach, fresh bread, salad mom’s peaches and for dessert: apple pie.

More good stuff from Michael Pollan

Source:http://michaelpollan.com/books/food-rules-illustrated-edition/michael-pollan-counts-down-his-favorite-new-rules/

My Emdog Blog from Sahmmy.com

No Problem

I just RSVP’d for a party my seven-year-old is attending. Tomorrow.

My yard was a mess for her birthday party earlier this month. The patio was so over-grown all we could do was shrug our shoulders and weed-whack it.  And, I am pretty sure all the kids at the party need new shoes because of all the mud.

I am sometimes the last parent in the pick-up line and sometimes I am so late I have to park and go in to get my children from the office.

I signed up for bird-feeder filling duty at my son’s school at the beginning of the year when he was in kindergarten.  I even had a phone conversation with the mom who coordinated it.  She was so glad I had called because she really needed someone to take over for a while since she was expecting a baby.  I hung up the phone and the birds and their feed never entered my mind again until spring.

Today my husband told me I looked like the boy from Meatballs and My Body Guard. For some reason at age 40 my hair has decided to be curly and I haven’t had it cut since June. This morning I took off my bike helmet after I got to work and looked like thought I was riding to 1980.

And you know what I have to say for myself? You’re welcome.  You are so welcome.  De nada.

I’m the mom that makes you feel better about your own shortcomings.  You may let your kids eat too much candy but at least you manage to follow social norms and RSVP on time.  You may have a few Dandelions in the front yard but at least you’re not risking a tick infestation when you use the back-yard grill.  So you didn’t meet your quota of entertainment book sales but you also weren’t responsible for the Bird Famine of 2007. 

You are welcome, my comrades.  The pleasure is all mine.  And, thanks, sister.  Because I may always be running late but at least by kid’s finger isn’t buried up to her knuckle in her nose.  So, feel free to come to school wearing a t-shirt with a stain from last night’s spagettios.  Out of a can. I got your back.

But, be on time for drop-off on Wednesday, okay?  By then I will have snapped and cut my own hair and that, my friends, will keep you going for another week, at least.